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If they don't threaten to kill or harm the victim or the children, they may threaten to harm themselves, and by so doing, guilt the victim into feeling sympathy for them and then staying to prevent the threatened suicide from happening.The combination of internal self-esteem deficit, intermittent actual abuse, makeup sex or other positive attention obtained in the wake of abuse episodes, and escalating threats when the victim tries to get away is enough to convince many victims to stay put.These feelings then lead to the second stage of the cycle, which is where the actual abusive behavior occurs.Such behavior may be verbal, physical, emotional/mental, or sexual in nature. The second question, "Why Do Adults Stay In Abusive Relationships? Partners in abusive relationships have varying reasons for remaining in them.
The net effect is that the abuse tends to continue forever until the victim finds the courage to leave or is abused to death (e.g., murdered, in the most serious, violent cases).They may be motivated to put up with a lot of spousal abuse because the alternative is to go against the teachings of their church.Still other abused people may rationalize staying in abusive relationships because they think it is the right thing to do for their children.If the cycle stopped here and stayed constant, most victims would find it very easy to leave and not endure abuse for long periods of time.However, shortly after the abusive event occurs, the abuser frequently expresses remorse or guilt and wants to apologize.
Or for those with poor self-esteem, the rationalizations may be thoughts such as “I don't deserve any better” or “this is the best relationship I've had in my life.” Victims may have any number of low-self-esteem type beliefs that also keep them paralyzed and willing to accept something that is merely "good enough." They may believe that they will be alone forever if they go out on their own.